Crazy as it may sound, yep!
According to the authors of Getting to Yes, a great way to demonstrate that you are indeed keyed in to the point the other party to the conversation is making, to prove your interest and empathy, the authors recommend “interrupting” with a question now and then. The book is mainly about negotiating, but as I’m sure you know if you’re out there in the field, negotiating and selling are all about influence, and successful influence is a function of rapport! The authors suggest this as a brilliant way to go about building rapport. The way I’ve just described it may not sound like very tactful way to make a conversation flow, so you may just have to try this for yourself.
For example…
Imagine you and someone you meet are talking about hometowns. You can really show the other person how closely you’re listening by asking what their hometown is near, or by seeking clarification by asking if it is near a particular town you name. That may at first feel like a subtle interruption, but it actually demonstrates that you’re actively listening and are genuinely concerned about what they’re saying. The more specific and original your question is, the greater the potential rapport.
It would feel like an interruption to the other person, however, if you derailed them by talking about yourself! Anything other than something that makes the other party in the conversation less the star is a bad idea. The more time you invest in what is of interest to them, the greater the relationship dividends you’ll reap.
So get the other person talking, let them talk, and assertively take an interest in what they are saying through the questions you ask. Even if it at first feels like you’re interrupting. You’ll not only learn a lot more about them and gain rapport a lot faster, you’ll probably find yourself a lot more interested in the conversation!









The other day I had a great working lunch and skull session with a colleague at Panera Bread. I visit Panera Bread often for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is the food, of course, but that’s not the main reason either. At Panera, you can expect friendly, prompt service, which is worthy of mention, but you also get something you don’t get in a lot of restaurants – they leave you alone! You are welcome to sit and visit as long as you like! You’re welcome to bring your laptop and power it from their outlets! You’re welcome to make use of their wireless internet connection! No extra charge, and no rush!
Thanks to those of you who have not only purchased my first book, The Great Game of Networking, but for taking time to tell me what you liked in the book, what you’d like to see in future editions, and, most importantly, how you’ll profit from the time we spent together in the pages of the book! That is very important to me! More accurately, YOU the CUSTOMER, are very important to me!

